08.22.00

It's really frustrating how small things can set me off. Mike sent me a link to a news story that is about a subject that I'm quite fascinated by; metabolism, how to raise it, and weight loss. (If you don't know me, I ain't thin. This is a personal obsession, because it effects me quite directly.)

According to the article, if you aren't having a serious thyroid problem, the only fix for a nuked metabolism is weightlifting, strict calorie counting, and more excercise than I'm willing to accept as a part of my life.

It's not that I have anything against exercise, really, but I get bored doing it. It has no challenge for me other than physical. I'd rather be working out fitting problems on an Elizabethan bodice, or drafting out a pattern for a modern adaptation of a Regency gown, or even just reading.

YOU try reading while doing situps or curls or whatever.

Exercise, if it didn't take time, or managed to keep my mind busy, wouldn't be bad, and I would like it. I like moving my body (just ask any of my friends who've seen me dance). I just resent the fact that it cuts into my de-stressing and following creative pursuits time. An hour commute each way, and a full-time work schedule don't allow for much of anything fun.

In the article, it says that it took some woman 2 years to lose 20 pounds. TWO YEARS! That's 24 months.. 104 weeks.. more days than I care to think about. Yeesh! Yeah, she got a lot of muscle, so she looks smaller than she weighs, but two fucking years? Ye gads. I think I'll just stay fat and lumpy.. at that rate, it'll take me a decade to lose the weight I want to.

I'm just very frustrated at the moment. I'll go home, make some yummy ginger-carrot handrolls, and pretend that the last 30 minutes of my work day didn't happen. Before that, I was fine. Today was almost even going well.

Keep your fingers crossed that whatever is wrong with me is fixable with medication (uck!) I don't wanna blow several hours of my day doing things that will rot what's left of my brain.

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You know what? I bet I'd be a lot more likely to do aerobics and stuff if the instructors weren't so damn perky and cheerful. I always feel like an idiot bouncing around in front of the TV; I don't want some little blonde bunny telling me that I'm "doing great!" I want someone to say, "yeah this *is* stupid, and I feel just as idiotic as you do right now. Just fucking get over it."

Or maybe a workout tape based on Goth dancing. THAT would be cool. They could play good music (ie. all of the stuff I like to dance to), and have interesting dark imagery flashing around behind the dancers.